YouLoveMe

At a cabin in the Pocono sticks, Unwanted drama on our wedding day, July 26th, 1986, My sister's crew is late, lost on the way. I hear that my wife-to-be is crying, I do not go to her, I say zero, I perceive her impatience as trying, On my wedding day I'm an anti-hero. It's thirty-six years later on Cape Cod, My sister's crew's late for a farewell lunch, This time I'm loud like Adam's angry god, She's selfish I say, my face in a scrunch. Ire repressed and expressed can both lead to a Fall, Have I changed for better for worse or not at all?  [personal]

I recall my mother and father well, Fairly often I'll dream of one of them, But dialogue with them it does not gel, P'raps cuz there's little in them I condemn. With my spouse and my lost lover I talk, There are imagined di'logues that flow free, Pain and rep'ration we 'spress while we walk, On fantasy trails that lead to the sea. We want our children to remember us, Not to disappear below the water, So do we need to raise a troubling fuss, To live inside a son or a daughter? I'm happy I love my parents truly, Sometimes I wish they'd been more unruly. [Part III?]

We go on Weight Watchers in the summers, To lose the pounds we gain throughout the year, We unclog ourselves, self-healing plumbers, Step on scales, dispel self-measuring fear. I say our cycles are quite rational, Eating is a complement to working, We balance dutiful and passional, Die'ting is a wise balance to twerking. You think I'm telling a just-so story, You don't think that we 'tain the golden mean, Unclogging our veins is painful, gory, Indulging and die'ting are shameful, obscene. The data support your story and mine, Debate is a banquet on which we dine. [Part IV]

In America who would Li Bai be, A homeless person, always traveling, I saw you last on the upper Yangtze, You loved me for my mind unraveling. I drink my three hundred ounces a day, Write my poems on the train from Hoboken, I saw you last on the Champs-Elysees, You mocked my bad French, my heart's still broken. On my down days I want to ride and move, Forget what it is I'm supposed to do, Be a wheel with an ever-rolling groove, Be a rail with nothing ever to prove. Li Bai had beautiful calligraphy, We both had beasts inside too big to free. [Part III--Art/Lit]

Self-governance as much as possible, State control only when necessary, Limit what is centrally boss-able, Of bars to rad choice be highly chary. Family and ethnos and faith are all fine, But so is the state's ascension 'gainst them, The grievance against the state that is mine, Is its hiding all politics under its hem. Excessive central rule is oppression, One day our states will seem truly vile, Rad'cals must enjoy partial secession, We need a chance to pursue our own style. We're ruled by tyranny of the majority, We need to govern ourselves in sorority.

"Neurodeviation Rules" is a vibe, It's queer not gay, experiments not laws, It's a statement of pride from a new tribe, It's a banner flown to proclaim our cause.   It also has an opposite meaning, It says that we already run the world, It asks for our own redemptive greening, It suggests contrition, a pride flag furled. We the neurodeviant are funny, We're underdogs, society's losers, We're winners, with power, fame, and money, We're downcast beggars and gifted choosers. Let those of us who are lucky come out, Let's help the unlucky, put shame to rout. [Part III]

                                                                                                                                                        For decades Me felt a contradiction,                                                         Between philosophy and game theory,                                   ...